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2007 Personal Accounts
The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 

A Highly Improbable Trajectory
2007 Personal Account


 
A rare non-fatal Darwin Award. Nobody dies!

In a suburban ER, the first patient of the evening was a young man suffering from a gunshot wound. His story? "I was at a party and went outside to take a piss. Somebody did a drive-by and shot me." I examined him and found a small-calber entry wound at the anterior base of his penis, out the mid-shaft, in and out the right testicle, and into the right thigh, where the bullet lodged.

A highly improbable trajectory for a drive-by.

The nurse picked up his white jeans, which had been cut off and thrown aside. Inside the waistband were unmistakeable powder burns. She said to him, "You had a gun down your pants!"

At first 'Billy the Kid' denied it, but finally admitted to shooting himself while playing quick-draw with a friend. The reason for the attempted deception? He was on parole for a weapons violation.

The nature of the injury effectively removed him fron the gene pool.

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